Yesterday a topic sparked my passion. I was reading through a string of comments on Facebook, many lovely women weighing in on the heated and heartfelt topic of childbirth. It was the comment of one woman in particular that caught my attention. She told us that her births were pain free and it was because Christ has reversed the curse placed on mankind. She told us that because she believes this idea and has faith in it, she is able to exercise authority over her body and tell it what to do and therefore experience no pain.
This prompted a new string of comments, some throwing unnecessary, strong accusations at the well-intentioned woman and others revealed that her comments hurt them as it suggested their own painful labors were due to lack of faith.
This woman has touched on a very large theological debate that exists within Christianity. People falling on either side of this debate are all lovely people I would be privileged to call my friends. I don't usually enter big theological arguments. It doesn't usually interest me. But this time the greater debate (see: "health, wealth and prosperity gospel") (see also: "word of faith movement") touched a topic that is near and dear to the heart of all women everywhere... childbirth. Feelings are getting hurt and I want to weigh in. I want to offer peace to a few hearts.
I do believe this woman's story. I believe she experienced a pain free birth and it may very well have been because she was gifted by God with the ability to relax and trust Him through the birth process. She may have been able to speak with authority to her body and expel fear and other things that sometimes get in the way of a beautiful birth experience. A few women do get the chance to experience birth as God originally intended in His original design. We should rejoice with these women and not begrudge them their beautiful experience. We need to give them freedom to be different from us.
However, my hope is that women who have this experience, will also give the rest of us freedom to be different in return. Allow us to experience pain without judgement. God doesn't promise anyone a pain free birth or a pain free life. In fact, He says that we WILL share in His sufferings, at times, and He will comfort our hearts through the pain. (2 Corinthians 1:5-7)
I am reminded of the story of a friend. She told me her first birth was relatively easy and she thought she was super good at this birth thing. Her second baby brought another story. The mind blowing pain forced her to new levels of surrender in her walk with God. The pain was completely out of her control and God used this experience to bring her to a new level of dependence on Him. She has been gifted with the understanding that a great many things are completely out of our control. An inspiring story. This is where I desire to be at all times: experiencing new levels of surrender to my Creator.
Then there is my own birth story... I have a high pain tolerance and I went to the hospital all excited for natural labor, having read books and talked to many experienced women, I was totally prepared for a beautiful experience. As it turned out, I labored in great pain for 24 hours. Eventually my baby was in distress and I had a c-section. During the c-section the doctor finally saw the hidden culprit. My bone structure was too narrow. My baby girl would never have passed through. 200 years ago, before c-sections, both my baby and I would have died. God's gift to some women is pain free labors. God's gift to me is c-sections with painful recoveries that are every bit worth the sacrifice of love.
On that day, and many days following, I had the privilege to say to my daughter, "this is my body, broken for you."
Can we pray for pain free experiences? Certainly. Often God is pleased to rescue us. At other times, He will walk with us through the pain, easing our suffering by being right next to us, coaching us all the way through it. Both the pain-free experience and the pain-filled experience have the potential for powerful beauty.
