When the Wind is Stronger than Your Roots

It was Day 4 or 5, mid afternoon, Samantha was just finishing a nap and I was preparing to put Annabelle down to start a nap when I got a call from Chris. He told me to get the girls ready. As soon as he arrived home, we were going to jump in the Jeep with him and check out a beach he stumbled across while away running errands. I LOVE IT when he does this. Usually he is counting on me to make fun plans for the family. I love it when he surprises me with a cool plan. Annabelle would survive a missed nap. Early bedtime or something.

THIS is the beach. Driftwood Beach. Have you heard of it? I never had. I forgot my camera in the excitement of jumping in the Jeep. We parked, walked down an enchanted, narrow path through the woods and stepping out into this scene, my jaw dropped. I was in awe. I'd never seen anything like this before. I asked Chris for the keys and I raced back to the campground to get my camera. My mind was already forming this blog post for you.

THIS is what happens when the wind and water are stronger than our roots.

It's beautiful in a way.

And this? Seriously? It looks like a giant sci-fi spider.

This next one... See it? A torn heart?

Here... I'll draw the top back in for you...

These giant, majestic trees...

There will ALWAYS be something more giant, more majestic.

Extra strong, this one. But his time will come.

I've been discussing the subject of roots and change on this blog for years. What an amazing visual to illustrate this topic. 

At 4 years old, my roots were deeply dependent on that green house on Cherokee Lane. (read: April 3rd Post for that story.) Yet 36 years of moving led me to write a post in 2014 about planting my roots in a different Source. (see post: October 2, 2014) Little did I know that 12 days later my husband would arrive home early from work to carefully deliver the news that my Dad had shot himself. Suicide is an event of high winds far stronger than any relocation from one house to another.

I am still on a journey of transplanting roots of my heart from the shakable to the unshakable. Just because I'm RVing, doesn't mean I have this root thing all figured out.

Lately I've been asking myself the following question: What does that ancient text mean when it says,

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

How, exactly, do I store my treasure in heaven? When I kiss my daughter goodnight, is that action kept, for safekeeping, in heaven? I can't capture every precious, glittering moment on camera, and even if I could, moth and rust will eventually destroy it, even if I store photo albums carefully for 150 years of grandchildren. Are all these beautiful moments being saved in heaven somewhere for my later enjoyment? Am I storing up treasure in heaven when I wash dishes? Or give a homeless man a bag of groceries? Is it only certain actions that get put into heavenly storage or is it the Spirit in which we do it? Another text says,

"if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."

Those are the questions I'm asking myself as I soak up each sparkling, temporary moment with my family this Spring and Summer. I take incredible, unspeakable joy from my small family and yet, God and I have had our moments alone. He and I know that He is enough for me. He knows He is the only One who fills my heart with the best and most Ultimate Joy which never disappoints. Yes. I have felt that sentiment. It is real. In my darkest moments and in my highest moments. Sometimes I loose touch with this Truth, but it's always there when I remember and reach for it again.

(Oh Jesus, please don't test me again on this commitment now that I've said this in front of all these people.) 

Fear or no fear, it needs to be said. He is my first Love. My heart longs to be with Him. It always has. From the very first moment I learned of Him. My passion only increases the older I get. Ever heard the words to that song on the radio?.... "everybody want to go to heaven, nobody wanna go now."

That's me. I'm longing to go... just not quite ready yet.

Day 16 - 7:30am - Tiptoeing to Spy on the Girls

Two little heads, playing, waiting for the timer on the twinkle lights to go off so they can go play with Mommy and Daddy. This has been the common scene for many months. Only difference now is acting out this ritual in the context of RV life!

Samantha waits for the Bunny Clock to "wake up," at which point she crawls into Annabelle's bed to play until the twinkle lights go off, signaling permission to bombard Mommy and Daddy with energy.

"Twinkle lights aren't off yet, what are you doing in here, Mommy?"

RVing with Babies - Practical Solutions

It's a rainy day..... an ideal time to write to you, cozy in the RV.  We're capitalizing on cozy with twinkle lights. It's incredible how such a simple thing changes everyone's mood. 

Last week was sunny, balmy and delicious, which made it hard to finish unpacking and organizing. Rain drove us inside every day this week and I'm happy to announce that today, at 10:34 am, the last basket and bin tucked themselves into place. Every last toy, toothbrush and shoe has a happy home, with room to spare.

This has been the shoe system since Day 1. Shoes off as soon as you walk in the door. I tidy it once a day. Usually it looks like the next photo... (tiny pink sneaks and big gray sneaks being wayward most often ;)

You wipe your feet as you walk through the door and pass the driver's seats. 

I'm going to skip the main living space for now and jump you straight to the rear of the "RV house" to the "girl's bedroom." 

I would not have enjoyed RV life 3 years ago as a first time Mom. I wanted to give my baby the "classic" nursery of children's books and magazines. An entire room dedicated to a crib five times bigger than baby, full size dresser, changing table, nursing chair, book shelf..... and..... last but not least, wooden toy box. I knew babies didn't NEED all of this, but I wanted it. At the time, it was my current expression of love for my baby, mixed with my own desire not to miss out on a beloved tradition from modern day, middle class, America and Europe. I will probably put the same amount of elaborate decor into decorating a similar nursery in our next home later this year. But for now, I've done the big nursery thing, and now I'm ok to do the RV thing. I'm finally at a place in my life where I could be ok to live without anything a big house offers if we ever decided to travel on wheels full time. I might feel different four months from now, so ask me then. I will talk, in a later post, about whether I'm ok with no dishwasher or oven.

As you can see from the photo above, Samantha is equally excited about her RV bunk bed, as she was about her nursery. Samantha's bed arrangement was simple and didn't need any extra effort from us. It's apparent that most people with babies, young enough to roll out of bed, don't typically go RVing. None of the RV's come equipped with an itsy bitsy RV size crib. But if you're 3 or older, the RV designers have got you covered, fish net to catch you if you fall out of your perch. (which Samantha did on Day 3 until we learned to put a mound of blanket between her and the net. However, she never knew any of it. I happened to see her sleeping, cradled in the net, a few inches below her bed as I was responding to Annabelle in the middle of the night. Chris lifted her back into place and all was well.)

Annabelle's bed, on the other hand, took weeks of planning and troubleshooting before we arrived at a reasonable solution. She really doesn't care WHERE we put her to sleep, if we will PLEASE just be consistent and put her in the same place every night with the same soft cushion, with the same smell, under her and two familiar stuffed animals within reach.

We had to return the first bed rail because the hardware would not work with this particular bunk. Our final design included googling what other RVer's have done to solve this, plus our own engineering. The Dex Bed Rail from Amazon or Target is the one with a plate shape that can slide down between the bunk and wall. It wasn't designed with RV bunks in mind, but it works quite well nonetheless. In the end, the adult mattress, turned vertical and wedged across the "room," is a bit unsightly, but overall, this arrangement is cute enough to satisfy me, and practical and out of the way. We were all somewhat irritable dancing around the makeshift solutions of the last two weeks.

Do we need a changing table? Nope! All changing supplies live in this handy basket on the bathroom counter. Folded changing pad tucked behind is a brilliant design I've had in my car since baby number one. It doubles as a diaper bag. Patem brand, given to me by another friend who loves minimalist solutions.

What about mealtime? I, personally, LOVE the old fashioned wood spindle high chair with tray waiting for Annabelle in storage for our next house. It's so pretty. But I don't see an actual need for it. If she feeds herself, she sits in the sink to do it. If I'm feeding her, or if she's just picking up dry rice puffs, the following arrangement is working well for us.

It quickly became clear that Samantha was going to have a terrible struggle sitting still to eat, until we provided a booster seat to raise her to a more comfortable height. I was tempted to push on the budget a little bit more to run out and buy a booster seat. But in the end, I decided to use this cardboard box. 

I'm not going to be one of those bloggers who shows you gorgeous diy Pintrest projects. You've got plenty of that at your fingertips. I WILL show you this slap together solution which made both Samantha and I happy. We picked two old towels, we didn't need, and stuffed them inside the box to make it sturdy. We took cut strips of colored paper from my craft bin and taped them to the box, to make it cute, and wrapped the whole thing in clear packing tape. Easy, small, washable, cute. Took 10 minutes.

(Yes, it's peeling. She's been picking at it. I'll give it a new skin soon and have a chat with her.)

Annabelle's toys are all right here, in this one drawer which slides out from under the dinette seat.

Occasionally, when I need Annabelle up off the floor, I strap her into the seat belt on the couch and hand her toys. This spares us the need to have extra bouncy seats or baby saucers taking up space.

When we are outside, Annabelle is usually in the stroller or playpen.

She even slept in it one afternoon before I set up the monitor.

Our medicine cabinet was the final bit of organization, complete today. Stacking storage containers are a great solution for limited cabinet space...

Stay tuned for more inside photos, plus, RV life from the male perspective.

For the Men

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, this post is also for my girlfriends who love grilling and watching sports. Love you gals too.

In our home, grilling and watching sports is mainly my husband's cup of tea...or strong coffee (as he prefers). 

Yep. He's grillin' and watchin the Masters. 

A Heart of Tree

I'm fixated by heart shapes in nature (see Healing my Heart this Valentine's Day).

Yesterday we took a break to walk and explore the island. On the way back to our campground, I came across another heart. I'm not the only person with a camera capturing nature hearts. Sometimes these hearts are unbelievably astounding while at other times it's a huge stretch. Have a peek at the 2012 collection by Adventure Journal. Most of my heart sightings are more of a stretch than awe inspiring. But it's warming my heart to engage in this fun little treasure hunt between me and God and I hope it warms your heart to join me in this charming diversion.

Day 4 - At Home on the Road - Under the Trees

That's right. Just minutes ago, I was on my back, basking in this vision of trees, upside down, in my "living room." 

Seems like vacation, doesn't it. But my responsibilities are the same as they have been for the last 4 years as a Stay at Home Mom. Nothing has changed, other than the location. I'm learning to take these 5 minute, upside down, breaks.  At roughly 11:00, every morning, I start to feel like the urgent tasks and demands are becoming a runaway train. And the day is not half over. And I've completely lost steam. And...

... and that's when I go upside down. Five minutes like this and I'm ok again, ready for another round. I could have been doing this a long time ago, but it's just doesn't inspire me to stare at the ceiling of a typical living room.

This was yesterday around 11:00... same routine. Re-directing blood flow to my brain. Resting. Letting it all go for a moment. Doctors can explain the health benefits of this pose, but this five minute simple new habit is changing my life. At the end of the day, I feel like I'm living part work, part vacation, and I'm happier all the way around.

Chris and I knew we had to try this RV lifestyle, but we also knew we might try it and dislike it. It's day 4 and I'm here to tell you we are still in SET UP MODE. We are still shouldering the extra work of unpacking and organizing, on TOP of normal life with babies, and I'm still in love with this new life! If I'm going to have moments of sheer exhaustion and emotional freak out, I'd much rather do it out here under a canopy of trees in 73 degree weather, than in suburbia. 

I know RV life isn't for all of you. RV life is meant for some, but not all, so I hope my posts inspire ALL of you to pursue what makes you happy. I'm talking about deep down, soul healthy, type of happy. Make it realistic and attainable, then pursue it and DO IT. Be patient. My dream of living as a nomad started 7 years ago. (If truth be told, it really started 30 years ago, when I was reading the Boxcar Children series.) So be patient when it seems like your dream will never happen.

My three year old took this photo yesterday. Usually I praise her up and down for her camera learning skills and then quietly delete, but this one captures a joy that is not staged.

Images from Day 2, 3 & 4.....

Installing rain gutter extentions

(isn't he awesome??? He is a highly successful desk nerd with numbers and he is also an eager and skilled handy-man, tackling outdoor living and a huge diesel beast of a machine!)

It is GOOD to have a Mommy who likes to do face painting EVERY DAY!

I know. It looks staged for a Gander Mountain ad. But there was nothing staged here except the part where I told them to re-create the part where they looked at each other adoringly just moments before. 

Samantha's new favorite activity... Mommy and Daddy story telling. (Stay tuned for more details about this in a future post)

Coming soon: Specific practical solutions for doing RV life with babies...

Some of you have asked for inside pics. Stay tuned...

Always Moving - Always at Home - We are now RVing!

Have you ever heard the saying, "Not all those who wander are lost?"
As I write to you today, I am in an RV, traveling down the road with my husband, toddler and infant. This mobile moving vehicle is, for the next four months, our only home. And we planned it this way!

How did we get here.

Some people are meant to live in one house or one town for a lifetime. There are pleasures that can only be experienced by staying for decades, such as watching one tree start from a sapling and grow for 70 years. Nothing can replace the knowledge and expertise about the culture and rhythms of one location available only in the brain of someone who has lived there 50 years, except maybe someone who has lived there 100 years.

In 2016, in the United States, I do not often bump into someone who has lived in one location for 70 years or more. When I do meet these people, I am fascinated. Talking for only a few minutes, I find these are deeply interesting people.

Most of my friends, and most of the people I read or hear about, fall into a second category. They move a handful of times during their lifetime. Typically they have one or two childhood homes, another home (or dorm) in a college town, and three more homes throughout the remainder of their life. I have spent my first 37 years of life primarily hanging out with these type of people.

Then there is a third group of people; people I bump into as rarely as the first group; these folks move or travel constantly. I am not fascinated by those who live this lifestyle and hate it and feel trapped by it or do it because they are running from life's problems. I am fascinated by those who have intentionally embraced this lifestyle and are genuinely happy living it. This is the group of people who fascinate me more than anyone. Maybe it's because I want to be like them. Or maybe I feel a unique connection with them because my soul was born to be part of this group.

I started my life deeply upset by change. From age one to four I lived in a green house with my parents. My sister was born and a year later we moved to a bigger house across town, a pretty white house with black shutters. At first I thought the move was exciting, but within a few days I realized we were never going back to the green house and I went into a state of mourning. For weeks I visited Mom and Dad's upstairs bedroom to gaze out the window longingly at the roof of our old house, which I could see across town. I remember the pain of this distinctly. The confusion. The disillusionment. Mom claims I rocked back and forth, back and forth, back and forth in my child size rocker, searching for comfort. As time went on, I learned to love my new home. We stayed for 13 years. By the time we left that house, I felt ready to go. I was 17, reaching adulthood, ready for new adventure. But the girl in the rocking chair was not gone. I still had a deep desire to find a place my soul most connected with and put down roots and build a home for life. At 24, I sobbed my heart out when my husband's job moved us for the third time in 3 years. 

Today I can say we have moved 12 times in 15 years together. It wasn't until a year and a half ago I finally realized I was living the life of a gypsy and I actually like this life. (See September 2014 post) Instead of feeling trapped in this lifestyle or pushing hard to change it, my heart finally embraced it... or at least part of it. For me, when I'm constantly on the move, setting up and tearing down in big stationary houses is frustrating and feels like a waste of time. Thus, we are headed towards making our nomadic life more efficient.

We sold our house in Alabama a month ago. A few days later we bought a house in Virginia, where we will live for four years while Chris gets his PHD at Virginia Tech. While embracing the nomadic life, simultaneously we are making changes to build a healthier lifestyle for children, meaning less work related travel separating us and more travel together as a family. We bought an RV and are hitting the road for 4 months! Our dream is to eventually take a year off from work to travel the country. For now we are starting with four months. If we love it as much as we expect, we will hop in our mobile home every summer during school break and explore everything possible. The ironic reality is, by embracing the nomadic lifestyle, we have finally come "home." There is now more potential for a sense of permanent residence in this "home" which moves with us, intact, wherever we go. After years of moves, paring down a little more each time, we have finally pared down (almost) enough for full time RV life.  My dream is full time RVing, working on the road. For now it is part time. Somehow, by sheer luck and blessing, I happened to marry a guy who shares these dreams even though we never discussed it before marriage. Our attraction was pretty basic 21 year old priorities.

Chris and I have been living the life of nomads, for 15 years, without aiming to and without knowing what this type of life is all about and how to flourish in it. Career just kept sending us somewhere new. It's about time we learned how to make the best of who we are and what we've been given. 

Our intention is to learn over the next few years and beyond. For example, we've all been told humans need community to thrive. What does community look like when you frequently move and travel? What do you do when you love to plant a garden, but you're never home long enough to see the entire process through from planting to harvest? These are questions we will be exploring along the way, over the next few years. Please join me on this journey. Be part of my community. Please? I need you. Read, write, post comments, etc. Give advice if you have experience with this lifestyle.

I've always been perplexed by that phrase on mugs and bumper stickers, "Not all those who wander are lost." I think I understand now; I am a wanderer and I feel more sense of "belonging" in the last month, with this identity and in my new mobile home, than I ever have in my entire life.  

As a teenager, I confided to my Dad that I felt "lost." I couldn't explain why and he didn't question me or try to fix it. He seemed to understand what I meant even though he didn't have a solution for me.  

I no longer belong to any one city or state, but Dad... I'm no longer lost.