If you experience pain, are you in sin?

I've been waiting, these last few months, for a serious topic to grab my attention... something bigger for us to discuss than bubble blankets.

Yesterday a topic sparked my passion.  I was reading through a string of comments on Facebook, many lovely women weighing in on the heated and heartfelt topic of childbirth.  It was the comment of one woman in particular that caught my attention.  She told us that her births were pain free and it was because Christ has reversed the curse placed on mankind.  She told us that because she believes this idea and has faith in it, she is able to exercise authority over her body and tell it what to do and therefore experience no pain.

This prompted a new string of comments, some throwing unnecessary, strong accusations at the well-intentioned woman and others revealed that her comments hurt them as it suggested their own painful labors were due to lack of faith.

This woman has touched on a very large theological debate that exists within Christianity.  People falling on either side of this debate are all lovely people I would be privileged to call my friends.  I don't usually enter big theological arguments.  It doesn't usually interest me.  But this time the greater debate (see: "health, wealth and prosperity gospel") (see also: "word of faith movement") touched a topic that is near and dear to the heart of all women everywhere... childbirth. Feelings are getting hurt and I want to weigh in.  I want to offer peace to a few hearts.

I do believe this woman's story.  I believe she experienced a pain free birth and it may very well have been because she was gifted by God with the ability to relax and trust Him through the birth process. She may have been able to speak with authority to her body and expel fear and other things that sometimes get in the way of a beautiful birth experience.  A few women do get the chance to experience birth as God originally intended in His original design.  We should rejoice with these women and not begrudge them their beautiful experience.  We need to give them freedom to be different from us.

However, my hope is that women who have this experience, will also give the rest of us freedom to be different in return.  Allow us to experience pain without judgement.  God doesn't promise anyone a pain free birth or a pain free life.  In fact, He says that we WILL share in His sufferings, at times, and He will comfort our hearts through the pain. (2 Corinthians 1:5-7)

I am reminded of the story of a friend.  She told me her first birth was relatively easy and she thought she was super good at this birth thing.  Her second baby brought another story.  The mind blowing pain forced her to new levels of surrender in her walk with God.  The pain was completely out of her control and God used this experience to bring her to a new level of dependence on Him. She has been gifted with the understanding that a great many things are completely out of our control. An inspiring story.  This is where I desire to be at all times: experiencing new levels of surrender to my Creator.

Then there is my own birth story...  I have a high pain tolerance and I went to the hospital all excited for natural labor, having read books and talked to many experienced women, I was totally prepared for a beautiful experience.  As it turned out, I labored in great pain for 24 hours.  Eventually my baby was in distress and I had a c-section.  During the c-section the doctor finally saw the hidden culprit. My bone structure was too narrow.  My baby girl would never have passed through.  200 years ago, before c-sections, both my baby and I would have died.  God's gift to some women is pain free labors.  God's gift to me is c-sections with painful recoveries that are every bit worth the sacrifice of love.  

On that day, and many days following, I had the privilege to say to my daughter, "this is my body, broken for you."

Can we pray for pain free experiences?  Certainly.  Often God is pleased to rescue us.  At other times, He will walk with us through the pain, easing our suffering by being right next to us, coaching us all the way through it.  Both the pain-free experience and the pain-filled experience have the potential for powerful beauty.

Bubble Blanket - Ideas for Fighting Cold Winter Blues

If you've never hopped in the tub with your toddler and invented new things together, like this bubble blanket, you should definitely consider giving it a try.  

It's been a rough two days.  It's too cold outside to really enjoy playing outdoors.  There isn't any snow or anything else to entice us.  Samantha is fighting an ear infection and is throwing tantrums we've never seen from her til now.  This impromptu decision to hop in the bathtub together after naps was inspired.  The time of day that is usually our hardest (after nap time til dinner) turned magical and harmonious.

Here in our home, bubble blankets are the latest fad.  (The water is only up to her belly button.  The rest is bubbles.)

Thanksgiving for Christmas - thinking outside the box

No one wants sickness right before Christmas. Especially not the real and actual flu. And especially not in a toddler. Yes, today my two year old tested positive for the real and actual Influenza virus. We often throw the word flu around anytime we have a cold and body aches and don't know the name of the exact bug we've caught. Most cold viruses are not super dangerous, but the Flu can be life threatening, especially in children and the elderly.

Today I am giving thanks for our current medical system. I'm giving thanks for our ability to look into a drop of blood, or a swab of mucus, and read critical data. Hundreds of years ago we did not know the difference between the common cold and the Flu and we didn't have a specific medicine for the Flu. Now we do, and if it's given within the first 48 hours, it can save lives.  I'm also giving thanks for the Mommy gut instinct God gave every Mommy. It is often confused with Mommy FEAR, our other, not-so-good, tendency. I often doubt myself, unsure of the difference. But today I am thankful that I got it right. I normally wait the recommended 3 days, when a fever shows up, before taking my baby to the doctor. Sickness strengthens the immune system and I don't want to throw medicine at her every time she is sick. But today something felt wrong. And as it turns out, I was right. If I'd waited the usual three days, there would have been no medicine to help her win this fight.

This reminds me that there is no black and white answer to rely on for every single circumstance. There are always exceptions to the rules we live by.  I am reminded how dependent we are on Divine Wisdom to guide us.

As Mom's, we are especially prone to grasp for formula's to make us feel safe. And for good reason. We love our children more than anything in the world and will do anything for them. There are many blogs out there, and Mom's on playgrounds, with loud voices, telling us how to raise our kids, giving us only one rigid view on anything we might encounter as a parent.  I like to think of myself as independent, strong minded, and confident. But I'm not above getting stressed out by the comments of another Mom on the playground.  So today I want to remind all of us that rules-of-thumb are fantastic on most days, but let's relax and be free of the harsh sensation that there is always only one right way to do things, whether it's diet, potty training, discipline...you name it.  Let's remember to look upward, to the One who is leading us, and follow our gut in an unusual direction if that is the way He leads us.  We have all heard that some children don't follow the usual pattern and every situation is different. This principle does not just apply to Moms. LIFE rarely follows the same pattern every time. Let's be ready to think outside the box.  

Let's be ready to think outside the box even when thinking about "the perfect Christmas."

No one wants sickness right before Christmas. Especially not the Flu. But I am giving thanks for the silver lining.  I've spent a lot more time this year, than any other year, staring at the beautiful lights on my tree while I hold my baby. Which leads me to give thanks for a busy toddler who is actually snuggling me in the middle of the day. What better Christmas could I have?

Small Thanksgivings - A Delight All It's Own

Scattered all across this land today, my family is celebrating Thanksgiving together in spirit, but not in body.  Gatherings of 20-30 persons, that we all love so much, are dwindled to smaller numbers when life circumstances keep us from traveling.  This year it was going to be 8 of us at my house, but then strep throat struck and our number dwindled down to 4, including the toddler.
But there's actually something special about a Thanksgiving gathering of 4.  After all, "where two or three are gathered..."

Candy Cornucopia

Want a fun, easy food craft to make your Thanksgiving day sparkle?  Try Candy Cornucopia.  

This simple project has cheered me up today, a woman celebrating Thanksgiving away from home and bogged down with too many things to list here.  Sound familiar?  I'm certain most of us could say we feel bogged down with too many things to list.

Our Thanksgiving table is going to be simple by American standards.  Only 5 dishes, including the pie.  But at the last minute I've decided to include this party favor for each place setting.  I've never done this candy craft before, but it took me 15 minutes to assemble 8 plates, and it is delighting me from my fingers to my toes.

You can build this with any variation of candy you prefer.  What's in mine?  Three smarties, a handful of gummy bears, 2 skinny cow dreamy clusters, and a handful of jolly rancher sour bites. All stuffed in a waffle cone and laid on a paper plate.

My daughter and nephews are gonna get big eyes when they see this.  And I'm glad there will be one waiting on my plate too because I kinda feel like I'm 10 years old again at the moment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Life on the Move - Searching for Home

Weather is finally cooling here in Alabama.  Autumn is truly here, my favorite time of year! when I can open the windows and invite fresh air into my home.  It's exactly what I've waited for all summer, and tomorrow I'm leaving this gloriousness and moving to Florida for two months.  We are doing this for several reasons, work included.
A month ago, if you suggested I move to Florida for two months, I would have rejected it outright. My home is currently in Alabama.  For twenty years I have searched for a place to call home and now that I've finally found it, I don't want to leave.  Or so I thought.  

A few weeks ago, during a visit to Florida, I lay on my back at the end of yoga class and thought to myself, "wouldn't it be really great to move back and stay here for a few months?"  In that moment, I realized I still feel at home in Florida.  A few hours later I received a call and learned I would indeed be forced to move back to Florida for two months.  On my back, in a quiet moment on a wooden floor, perhaps it was the Spirit giving me an idea, preparing me for the coming news, letting me feel like it was my own idea.

A new way of life has been stirring in my heart.  For twenty years I have searched for a place to settle down and never leave, my heart yearning for a sense of belonging.  My heart still yearns.  Yet I'm making peace with the idea that some people are meant to live in one place for a lifetime and some people are meant to wander.  I thought I was the type to settle and now I'm learning that I'm meant to travel.  This explains why I felt at home in ALL the places I've lived: Vermont, Virginia, Colorado, Destin Florida, Orlando Florida, Switzerland and Alabama.  It also explains why I have always felt the urge to move on at some point.  

I always say that my true home is not of this world.  My home resides in the spiritual realm and I think I'm embracing this reality on a new level.  I was holding onto another person's ideal that did not belong in my own life and it was weighing me down.  I thought everyone needed roots to be healthy. But maybe my roots come from another Source.

Therefore, after a three month period of writer's block, as I sit down to write to you again, it seems fitting that the name of my blog has changed... again.  I am now writing to you from, Deep Scent of Jasmine: Life of a Homemaker Searching for Home.  This is the blog of a woman who will build a new nest many, many times throughout her life, continually seeking ways to change and grow.  She will always be at home and she will always be on her way Home.

As we speak, I am writing to you from my backyard patio.  This is my favorite place in the house.  It is where my almost two year old and I eat breakfast every morning, weather allowing.  She eats and plays while I drink my morning tea and slowly wake up.  I took the following photo of her this morning from this spot.  We will miss our big green lawn in Alabama, but we plan to return.  Perhaps Samantha was having a chat with Tigger about our upcoming move.  Perhaps she was preparing his heart for it.

Blueberries for Samantha

Berry Picking has been part of my life every year since childhood.  There have only been one or two years when I missed picking because I moved to a new state or country and didn't know where to go to pick that year.
I'm beyond thrilled to see that my daughter has taken an immediate shine to one of my favorite traditions. She immediately knew what to do.  I didn't give her a single instruction.